Posts Tagged 'Robert Pattinson'

Being a supernatural monster is a bitch: New Moon review

“All things move toward their end
I knew before I met her that I would lose her
I swear I made every effort to be good to her
I made every effort not to abuse her
Do you love me? Do you love me? Like I love you?”

Do You Love Me?, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
 
 

John Connor’s diary. Date: December 21st. The future has changed. Mankind is no longer being wiped out by the Terminators, but by a series of films about non-blood-drinking vampires and waxed werewolves. You still can fix this. Tell Stephenie Meyer “Do I like Twilight? NOT AT ALL!”.


 
 
Recently I watched New Moon. And I actually liked it, it fits perfectly into the horror movies parody genre that has since so long— WHAT? It isNOT a parody? I don’t get it.
 
 
C’mon, click here and read the rest of the review or else I will drink your blood! Or something like that.

Suddenly, it seems that drinking blood is no longer cool: Twilight review

“Out from his coffin, Drac’s voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, “Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?”

Monster Mash, Bobby “Boris” Pickett
 
 
 

And now… the moment you all were waiting for! the Twilight review! Yes, yes, I know, I know. You are a Twilight fan, or Twilighter, and you’re cocking your gun to blow my brains out and singing “There will be blood, blood, there will be blood, blood!”. Well, honestly, I can’t say that you’re gonna like what you read, because, basically, I’m gonna tear Edward Cullen’s freaking guts out and wear them for a tie! Ehem. Excuse me. But, hey, that would be certainly more vampiric than the whole Twilight movie.
 

“Hey man, let’s go see ‘Twilight’! I heard it has vampires in it, and I want to see some blood!”

This guy must have been the portrait of disappointment when he walked out of the cinema

 
And now, ladies and gentlemen, fasten your seat belts and get your fangs sharpened, because my Twilight review begins now.

Click here to read the review. C’mon, click! You know you want to!


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