Archive for the 'Complaining' Category

Suddenly, it seems that drinking blood is no longer cool: Twilight review

“Out from his coffin, Drac’s voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, “Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?”

Monster Mash, Bobby “Boris” Pickett
 
 
 

And now… the moment you all were waiting for! the Twilight review! Yes, yes, I know, I know. You are a Twilight fan, or Twilighter, and you’re cocking your gun to blow my brains out and singing “There will be blood, blood, there will be blood, blood!”. Well, honestly, I can’t say that you’re gonna like what you read, because, basically, I’m gonna tear Edward Cullen’s freaking guts out and wear them for a tie! Ehem. Excuse me. But, hey, that would be certainly more vampiric than the whole Twilight movie.
 

“Hey man, let’s go see ‘Twilight’! I heard it has vampires in it, and I want to see some blood!”

This guy must have been the portrait of disappointment when he walked out of the cinema

 
And now, ladies and gentlemen, fasten your seat belts and get your fangs sharpened, because my Twilight review begins now.

Click here to read the review. C’mon, click! You know you want to!

Coming soon…

“Lady writer on the TV,

she had another quality,

the way you used to look

and I know you’ve never read a book”

Lady Writer, Dire Straits

Coming soon… what you all were expecting: My Twilight review!

Yes, I know, the sequel, New Moon is now on cinemas, and, though I’ll be watching it (my girlfriend wants to, and, hey, I want to watch it to criticize it mercilessly!), I won’t be talking about it until I have.

Well, I will say one thing: WAXED WEREWOLVES? C’mon! What will be next? Vampires that don’t get burned when exposed to sunlight? Oh, wait, we ALREADY have seen that. On Twilight! Man, this is gonna be good.

What? You want a preview of my review? Ok, here it is:

Here’s what I think about Twilight

Yes, I know. Lots of people want to kill me right now. But, hey, I’m used to it.

Cheers!

Train Long Suffering

“The name of the train is

‘Train Long Suffering'”

Train Long Suffering, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

WARNING: If you don’t understand Nick Cave’s singing and screaming about a train, click here to get the lyrics.

Fine, now that you’re listening (or you should be listening) to Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds’ Train Long Suffering, we can begin.

If you’re studying at the UJI, you probably are from Castellón or live there during the school term. Lucky you. I (as well as some of you) am not. I live in Valencia and I have to get up early to go to the UJI. Very early.05:00-early. And, man, getting up at 05:00 is a bitch. Catching the bus is no pleasuring task either, but, hey, it’s better than walking to the station.

But, the train. Oh, the train. The first days I thought “well, it’s not that bad… I’ll listen to music, read, plan how to conquer Europe… It will be nice”. That was the first week. From the second week on, I started hating the “cercanías Renfe, destino Castellón. Vía 1, sector 1. Salida inmediata”.

All the horrors which have befallen me, well, Renfe is to blame

All the horrors which have befallen me, well, Renfe is to blame

 

Well, some of you may say “don’t complain, you silly sod! You can sleep in the train!”. Well, I tried, but I can’t sleep with all the noise and the siren and everything. Now, I can tell you that some people can. Yes, they can. They even drool while they’re sleeping and mumble things like “hrrrn I’mlatemybossisgonnafireme…”.

But the worst part is that trains have ruined many songs for me! I can’t listen to many songs without hearing the word “train”!

It’s training men, hallelujah, it’s training men

I wanna knooooow, have you eveeeer seeeen the traaaaain?

– For I am a traaaaaain dog, too!

That’s all for today.

P.S.: The songs quoted are:

It’s Raining Men, by The Weather Girls

Have You Ever Seen the Rain?, by Creedence Clearwater Revival

Rain Dogs, by Tom Waits


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