Hello, I must be going

Hey! Did you miss me? Nah, I know you didn’t. Anyway, I’m here just to tell you that my spanish blog has moved from WordPress to Blogspot.

I would keep writing here, but the words required by my English teacher are 8000, and, if I’m not mistaken, we’re allowed a 10% more. I don’t want to outnumber them! So, a quick summary of where to find me:

- Reflexiones de un tipo con boina (roughly, A guy in a flat cap’s thoughts): There you’ll find my two cents on movies, politics, books and much more. In addition, you can listen to my two colaborations in a Gandia University radio program, Açò hi hauria que gravar-ho.

- Twitter: Your daily dose of me!

- Formspring.me: Here you can ask me whatever you want. And I’ll answer your prayers, unlike… you know, the guy up there… the one with the beard.

- Facebook: Keep in touch with me from the RduTcB page or my own personal page!

That’s all for now! Cheers!

Jungle is closed: A farewell from Javi & Mr. Paws

“So don’t cry for me, for I’m goin’ away
and I’ll be back some lucky day”

Lucky Day, Tom Waits
 
 
 
Hi, everybody. This is Javi writing. As you know, this blog was intended to be just homework for the English lessons. We had to write 4000 words on the first semester and other 4000 on the second one. With my last update, the He Was a Quiet Man review, I’ve reached (and gone over) that number. So, I don’t think I’ll be writing in this blog anymore (except for further assignments, of course. And yeah, maybe if I get feedback from some English speaking readers).

But this blog has rekindled my interest in writing, and has caused the birth of my other blog (written in Spanish), Reflexiones de un tipo con boina, which started as just the Spanish version of this blog. It shares some of its contents, such as the New Moon review (with new jokes) or the WordPress VS Blogspot tale, but it has tons of new content, such as an El Hormiguero review, my two cents in Obama’s Nobel, a tale of my own about real vampires and even a review of my blog (not written by me or any of my friends or relatives).
 
So,  as I don’t know when I’ll write in this blog again, I want to share this blog’s biggest secret with you… Mr. Paws identity!
 
 

“Hey, what are you doing with that camera? Back off! I said BACK OFF!!”

 
 
So, I hope you keep reading me at Reflexiones de un tipo con boina. I sure be reading your blogs. By the way, make sure you click the Lucky Day link at the top of the page. Is a nice beautiful song that I’ve been listening over and over while I wrote this.
 
Cheers!

Hail! Hail! The Oddwalk Kid!

“I said your name will
Be in lights…
And that’s no doubt
But you got to have
A manager that’s what
It’s all about”

Eyeball Kid, Tom Waits

Yesterday, my girlfriend and I went downtown to meet two friends and have a coffee. In the end, we ended up not having coffee whatsoever because we were (and still are) extremely short of money, but we met the most extraordinary kid on Earth:

Oddwalk Kid!

Let me tell you how it happened:

We were outside Café & Té (delicious smoothies, I must say) talking for a while, when I noticed something weird: a kid kid was running into us! But this was no normal kid. He was short, chubby, about twelve years old and blonde. “Why, you’re losing your mind! There are plenty of kids like that!”, you might say. Yes, indeed. But this one had a distinctive trait: one out of three of his steps ended in a nice, though unelegant, backwards kick in the air, accompained by a little jump. This reminded me two things. First, Tido’s similar encounter of the third kind with this kind of beings. And second, the amazing Mr. John Cleese himself:

The Oddwalk Kid made me think. What’s his story? Why did he choose to walk that way? Is he a Fama fan? Or perhaps is he a Billy Elliot fan? As one of my friends said “Nah, he’s too fat to be Billy Elliot”.

Oddwalk Kid’s walking routine

I guess we’ll never know. But, from here, I wish to pay my respects to Oddwalk Kid. And I think you should, too.

Hail! Hail! The Oddwalk Kid!

He was born without a sense of rhythm, not even a bit,
but he grown up to be the Oddwalk Kid!
We are lost in the darkness of this world,
but he came to teach us how to really walk!
Hail! Hail! The Oddwalk Kid!*

*Lyrics taken from Tom Waits’ Eyeball Kid and modified by Mr. Paws and I.

Being a supernatural monster is a bitch: New Moon review

“All things move toward their end
I knew before I met her that I would lose her
I swear I made every effort to be good to her
I made every effort not to abuse her
Do you love me? Do you love me? Like I love you?”

Do You Love Me?, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
 
 

John Connor’s diary. Date: December 21st. The future has changed. Mankind is no longer being wiped out by the Terminators, but by a series of films about non-blood-drinking vampires and waxed werewolves. You still can fix this. Tell Stephenie Meyer “Do I like Twilight? NOT AT ALL!”.

 
 
Recently I watched New Moon. And I actually liked it, it fits perfectly into the horror movies parody genre that has since so long— WHAT? It isNOT a parody? I don’t get it.
 
 

Today, it’s History!

“Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it’s Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works
That’s nobody’s business but the Turks”

Istanbul (Not Constantinople), They Might Be Giants

Hello. It’s me, Javi. No, call me Javier, we are in serious business here. I’m here to teach you a lesson you will never forget: Istanbul was Constantinople, but now it’s Istanbul. Got it? Right.

And now, to make sure you have paid attention, let’s take a little exam. If you answer correctly the following question, you will win a special prize. Are you ready?

Which is the name of this city?

A – Istanbul

B – Constantinople

C – Javitown

I am looking forward to read your answers. Until then.

It wasn’t a good movie: He Was a Quiet Man review

“The ship is sinking, the ship is sinking
There’s a leak, there’s a leak in the boiler room
The poor, the lame, the blind
Who are the ones that we kept in charge?
Killers, thieves and lawyers”

God’s Away On Business, Tom Waits
 
 
 
Recently I watched He Was a Quiet Man, written and directed by Frank Cappello. Don’t you know him? Well, I don’t blame you, he hasn’t made a lot of films, but maybe if I tell you that he wrote the Constantine, film… you will still be unable to recognize him.
 
 

 
 
As in all of my reviews, I’ll tell you how the movie ends. You’ve been warned.
 
 
The film tells us the story of Bob Maconel, a dull office worker played by Christian Slater (I know, it’s not a good omen). Bob dreams of blowing up the building in which he works, and he is ready to shoot their co-workers dead. The thing is he doesn’t know whom to shoot with the sixth bullet. And he is NOT throwing the last bullet to the garbage bin!
 
 

“CRAP! I forgot to pack my things before!”

 
 
So, one day, while he’s thinking whom to shoot, the last bullet slips from his hands, and while he’s picking it he hears gunshots and sees the dead bodies of his co-workers. He gets up and sees Coleman (another co-worker of his) holding a gun. Why doesn’t Coleman shoot Maconel? Well, as Coleman puts it: “the only reason you’re still alive is because you’re even more stupid tan I”. Ha! Put that on your pipe and smoke it, Darwin! Eventually, Coleman seems to think that is better to be dead that being Maconel’s friend, and he decides to shoot himself.  

Suddenly, it seems that drinking blood is no longer cool: Twilight review

“Out from his coffin, Drac’s voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, “Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?”

Monster Mash, Bobby “Boris” Pickett
 
 
 

And now… the moment you all were waiting for! the Twilight review! Yes, yes, I know, I know. You are a Twilight fan, or Twilighter, and you’re cocking your gun to blow my brains out and singing “There will be blood, blood, there will be blood, blood!”. Well, honestly, I can’t say that you’re gonna like what you read, because, basically, I’m gonna tear Edward Cullen’s freaking guts out and wear them for a tie! Ehem. Excuse me. But, hey, that would be certainly more vampiric than the whole Twilight movie.
 

“Hey man, let’s go see ‘Twilight’! I heard it has vampires in it, and I want to see some blood!”

This guy must have been the portrait of disappointment when he walked out of the cinema

 
And now, ladies and gentlemen, fasten your seat belts and get your fangs sharpened, because my Twilight review begins now.

Happy birthday, Tom!

“I don’t wanna have to shout it out
I don’t want my hair to fall out
I don’t wanna be filled with doubt
I don’t wanna be a good boy scout
I don’t wanna have to learn to count
I don’t wanna have the biggest amount
I don’t wanna grow up.”

I Don’t Wanna Grow Up, Tom Waits
 
 
 
Hey, today it’s Tom Waits‘ birthday! I know, I know, most of you don’t care, but, since it’s MY blog and he’s MY favorite artists, I want to tip my hat in respect to him.
 
 

Happy 60th birthday, Tom!

 
 

Coming soon…

“Lady writer on the TV,

she had another quality,

the way you used to look

and I know you’ve never read a book”

Lady Writer, Dire Straits

Coming soon… what you all were expecting: My Twilight review!

Yes, I know, the sequel, New Moon is now on cinemas, and, though I’ll be watching it (my girlfriend wants to, and, hey, I want to watch it to criticize it mercilessly!), I won’t be talking about it until I have.

Well, I will say one thing: WAXED WEREWOLVES? C’mon! What will be next? Vampires that don’t get burned when exposed to sunlight? Oh, wait, we ALREADY have seen that. On Twilight! Man, this is gonna be good.

What? You want a preview of my review? Ok, here it is:

Here’s what I think about Twilight

Yes, I know. Lots of people want to kill me right now. But, hey, I’m used to it.

Cheers!

Step right up! Step right up!

“Now you’ve heard it advertised, don’t hesitate!”

Step Right Up, Tom Waits

Hey! Are you insane enough to want to read more of my incoherences? Then check out my other blog, “Reflexiones de un tipo con boina”! It will include some of this blog’s articles, but it will also have brand new ones!

Yes, this is a pure advertisement. So? It’s my blog! I’ll write whatever I want, and you can’t stop me! Fascists! You bloody fascists! Hurm. Sorry ’bout that.

Coming soon… Twilight: Does it suck as much as they say… or does it suck even MORE? Find out in The Apes of Wrath. And make sure you suscribe to both of my blogs! You know, you just click the “Welcome to the jungle” rectangle, and you’re in!

Cheers!